


A Trimming Of The Thorns

by nyanbacon, VioletThePorama



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angst, Asexual Character, Attempted Murder, Blood, Female Pronouns for Grell Sutcliff, Flashbacks, Mentions of Abortion, Multi, Sebastian and Ciel have a quality relationship, Several Times Over, Werewolves exist but aren't really mentioned, William and Mey-Rin aren't dating currently, it was an old thing, possibly aromantic character, pulls inspiration from Being Human, vampires and hunters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-13 17:27:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18035780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyanbacon/pseuds/nyanbacon, https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletThePorama/pseuds/VioletThePorama
Summary: Just as every vampire has their fangs, every rose has its thorns.William T. Spears pricks Sebastian Michaelis just as Sebastian pricked him all those years ago.But how many times can William be pricked before he finally starts to bleed?





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of the many stories Ciel Phantomhive refuses to tell, even when he is asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title has nothing to do with the plot. It just sounded cool.

Ciel Phantomhive was, to say the least, not an ordinary noble person. While it’s true that undying loyalty to Queen Elizabeth ran rampant among the upper class, the loyalty the Phantomhive family expressed was borderline crazed. Additionally, young Ciel gained control of his family’s corporation at the overtly young age of 10, after the untimely death of his parents in a house fire that luckily did not eliminate the Phantomhive family entirely.

The child who’d grown up much too fast had fallen rather quickly into taking care of all the duties a Phantomhive was responsible for- including serving as the Queen’s guard dog. He was responsible for the mass of crimes that occured in London’s Underworld, from small drug related crimes to strands of serial murders.

And, more often than not, the elimination of vampires and werewolves from the urban heart of London.

Having not been raised in a hunter lifestyle, Ciel rarely took care of the culprit himself. It was merely his job to determine whether or not the crime was related to the supernatural, and then pawn the situation off to hunters the Queen trusted.

Currently, though, Ciel was working a case the Phantomhive family had been following for ages, starting all the way back with his own father, that he was having trouble getting answers to. The case had been on his radar since he‘d taken on his title, but only recently, when a series of travelers had died in motels around the city and the murders had made business sour, was the case brought back to his attention with a sense of urgency. The Scotland Yard was well aware of his involvement with the strand of murders, and were instructed to inform him whenever something happened that could’ve been related to the case.

This led to a messenger on horseback showing up at his manor rather early in the morning with the urgent news that a new body had been found in London.

Ciel immediately had Tanaka ready the carriage and rode off with the servant towards London to investigate the scene. Randall and Abberline were in front of the door, urging onlookers away, when Ciel stepped forward.

Randall’s brow crinkled into a scowl. “Phantomhive.”

“Randall,” Ciel greeted with a passive smile. “How nice to see you.”

Randall grunted and didn’t speak, instead stepping away from the door to the crime scene to let Ciel in.

The room was in disarray, with most of the furniture on its side, as evidence of a struggle. Ciel frowned as he glanced at the overturned furniture. Usually, there wasn’t this much of a disturbance in the area around the kill.

A body lay in the center of the room. Several blossoming bloodstains on a white sheet were evident, leaving Ciel to assume the victim had been shot.

 _Odd_ , he thought to himself as he moved over to the body and picked up the corner to inspect the victim. _Usually the victims have bite marks--_

Ciel nearly jumped out of his skin when the body moved.

He stumbled back, misstepped and fell against the wall with a quiet ‘oof’ as the man pushed himself to his elbows, coughed up a mouthful of blood, and turned to glare at the kid with red eyes and slitted pupils.

Well. This was an odd situation.

“You’re not a human,” Ciel stated bluntly as he watched the vampire try and fail to stumble to his feet, only to fall back down. The bullet wounds in his back weren’t bleeding any less under the strain of his moving limbs.

“You’re not a vampire,” the creature snarked back, and Ciel couldn’t help but be amused by his antics. As well as grossed out by the copious amount of blood the vampire appeared to be drowning in. That couldn’t be healthy.

Ciel pushed himself to his feet and watched him sit down on the ground in what appeared to be defeat. “Do you need some help?”

This caused the vampire to turn and stare at Ciel with an intense glare that any other child might have flinched other. After a moment, he narrowed his eyes. “Unless you’re offering me some of your blood, I don’t see how you could help me.”

“Absolutely not,” Ciel said with a frown. “I need my blood just as much as you do, thank you very much.”

The vampire scowled, but didn’t say anything.

“I might have a friend that could help you.”

“What kind of friend?”

“A vampire kind of friend.”

The response hung heavy in the air for a noticeable few moments, and for a brief second Ciel wondered if the vampire would turn down the offer and say he’d rather die.

Fortunately, some universal need to survive seemed to push him into accepting the offer, and after draping the stained sheet back over the vampire, Ciel opened the door.

Thankfully, Randall had disappeared, probably to deal with reporters, so the only person left in front of the door to the crime scene was Abberline.

“Abberline,” he called, and the detective spun around quickly. “There was someone further up in the building- a victim, I believe. I need to get them into my carriage so I can get them to a medical facility.”

“There was-- what?” He sounded incredulous. “But we checked-”

“Well you missed something. It’s not that much of a surprise,” he muttered under his breath, and Abberline grimaced. “Just help me, would you?”

“Ah, right.” He moved over to the door and Ciel stepped aside to let the sheet laden ‘victim’ be guided over to his carriage. Tanaka and Ciel exchanged a glance across the distance as Ciel closed the door to the scene behind him, and followed Abberline.

“There’s an awful lot of blood on that sheet,” Abberline murmured as Ciel stepped into the carriage and moved to close the door. The boy paused. “I hope you get them to the hospital in time.”

“... yes. We will hurry.”

Abberline nodded and turned, heading back to where he’d been. Ciel watched before looking at Tanaka. “Take us to Lau’s.”

Tanaka nodded and started the horses once Ciel had closed the door.

Visits to Lau’s were reserved for when Ciel was so stumped by a case he had to turn to an inside source to see if there was something he was missing. Ciel had been planning to stop by the vampire’s opium dens while he was out anyway, so thankfully, this wasn’t too much of a hindrance to Ciel’s schedule.

Lau wasn’t the one to answer the door, of course, because the sun was up, and there was no way the Chinese vampire was about to risk exposing himself to the harsh rays. Unlike _some_ vampires, he had some amount of self preservation instincts. Instead, one of the female (human) companions opened the door and peered out.

The vampire Ciel was accompanied by pulled the sheet down once they were in the shade of the overhang that shielded the den doors from the public eye, and wiped at the blood on his mouth with a frown in the direction of the human. “We need to see Lau,” Ciel informed her, and the girl opened the door the rest of the way.

Ciel turned to wait for the girl to invite the vampire in, only for him to step over the threshold without anything needing to be said. He frowned noticeably, but didn’t comment.

Lau was across the room, partially hidden by the dark and smoke from the opium users, but still visible. He watched the two approach with a placid look on his face.

“Young Earl Phantomhive,” he greeted once Ciel was close. “What a pleasant surprise. And… hm. A strange guest you’ve brought into my abode today.”

Ciel glanced up at the vampire, who watched Lau levelly before opening his mouth to speak. “Yes. A strange set of circumstances, too.”

“You two know each other?” Ciel asked with a slight scowl.

“I know everyone,” Lau said. “And everyone knows me. How else would I be able to get your information?”

Ciel frowned. “Well… regardless. I was wondering if you could provide him with some assistance. He was found at a crime scene with some considerable injuries.”

“Yes…” Lau looked at the stranger. “You _reek_ of silver.”

He frowned in disapproval. “I assume you don’t mind me using your facilities?”

Lau waved his hand to the left. “Go right ahead. I’m not stopping you.”

The stranger turned and headed off into a dark archway Ciel hadn’t noticed until Lau pointed it out. There were people waiting around it, and they flocked after the vampire when he disappeared into the arch way.

“I didn’t realize there was another part to your den,” Ciel said after a moment.

Lau looked at him. “That’s because most humans aren’t allowed back there.”

“Most?”

“You have it easy, dear Earl,” Lau said, leaning back against his couch. “Not as many people are so content to live the life they have.” He waved his hand to the arch again. “I offer those willing to die for no reason a chance to prove their worth to someone.”

“And vampires come and use them like a blood bank.” Ciel scowled. “Why was I not aware of this?”

“The Yard doesn’t interfere with the lives of vampires if it doesn’t cause death, and if the people who go missing aren’t wanted anywhere else anyway. It’s merely a charity campaign I run off on the side of the stuff the humans are allowed to know about.” He waved his hand to the stoned people lying about the opium den.

Ciel hummed and sat down when Lau moved some of his companions to give him space on the couch. “So do you know who’s been doing the murders?”

“You’ll have to be more specific, Earl Phantomhive.”

“The travelers. A lot of them have been on your side of the city, so I assumed you had information.”

“Ah, yes. The murders deterring people from visiting our fair city of London. What a tragedy.” He didn’t sound very apologetic. “I do believe I know the culprit.”

“Oh?”

“But I now know for a fact you know the culprit too.”

The stranger vampire stepped out of the second den right then, in some less tattered clothes, and something in Ciel’s head clicked.

_What a mess he’d gotten himself into._

“Where are you going?” Ciel asked when the two dismissed themselves from the den, and the vampire turned towards the shadowed alleyways of London. There was a pause, before those red eyes turned to peer right through Ciel’s figure.

“Elsewhere. I _assumed_ you wouldn’t want to be keeping me around.”

“I can’t let you go knowing you’re behind all these murders. I couldn’t help but notice you’ve been plaguing the city for, what, decades? It must be awful tiring, being on the run.”

He narrowed his eyes.

“You’ll continue to sully business for local families if I let you go on to hunt more travelers.”

“What a shame.”

“Someone will come along and kill you.”

“Because you’ll send them after me?” The vampire scoffed. “I know how to avoid being hunted.”

Ciel watched the vampire. He was afraid to think it, but he knew the vampire was right. He’d been killing in and around London for years, and only now did Ciel have him pinned down because one night of feeding went sour for him. Even if Ciel gave the hunters as specific a description as possible- hell, even if he took a picture of the vampire- he’d be impossible to find again.

Ciel really had no choice, if he wanted to assuage the Queen’s worries.

“If you come work for me,” Ciel started, picking his words carefully. “I’ll keep you protected from hunters. And the Yard. As long as you only go out to feed when I say it’s acceptable.”

He stared at Ciel, and after a moment, turned fully to the child. “You’d do that? For a vampire?”

“I put up with Lau,” Ciel stated matter-of-factly. “I’m about as accepting as humans come.”

The vampire was too enticed by the idea of protection to deny the offer, and Tanaka ended up driving both of them back to the manor.

“What’s your name?” Ciel asked when they were approaching the house.

“I go by many,” the vampire said vaguely, occasionally glancing at the windows when a stray beam of light came through the curtains.

“Any favorites?”

He considered the question. “... Sebastian. It’s an old alias, but I’ve always found it quite elegant.”

“Well then, Sebastian.” Ciel stood up when the carriage stopped.

“Welcome to the Phantomhive Manor.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years later (but only a few), in an apartment in the heart of London, William T. Spears is waiting for the right moment to strike...

Grell returned to the small apartment she shared with William more exhausted than she had been when she left. Which was surprising, considering she’d been barely able to stand when she’d gone. 

It was the first thing William noticed when she walked- stumbled, really- into the doorway. He’d been growing worried, since the sun was moments from rising, but thankfully she was inside the shadowed room before it rose fully. 

When he went to help her over to the couch, she pulled her arm away from her touch, and he paused, something twisting in his gut. She never avoided his touch when she came home from a feed. 

What had happened?

She sat down on the couch and folded her hands in her lap. She looked pale, paler than usual, and William was at her side quickly, reaching up to press his hand to her cheek. She was cold.

“Grell?” He asked, hoping to get a response from her despite how despondent her eyes looked. “Grell, what happened?”

Slowly, agonizingly slowly, she looked at William and something danced in her eyes that made his gut wrench painfully. It wasn’t physical tears, but with the emotion residing in her pupils, it just might have been.

“Are you going to kill me?”

The question took him aback. 

“… what?”

“Are you going to kill me? When this is all over. When we take out the Phantomhive butler. Are you?”

William had to pause, to take a moment to be honest with himself. He’d thought about it. He’d thought about it a lot. He knew that it was sinful to keep a vampire around when he was supposed to be killing them. He knew it wasn’t a good idea.

And yet he cared about her too much. He didn’t know if it was love, but the idea of killing her with his own, shameful, shameful hands made his heart clench and his gut twist because he cared about her more than he should have.

“I thought about it,” he decided to start with, feeling the need to be honest despite it not being what she wanted to hear. He couldn’t bring himself to look at the horror that crossed her face. “Once upon a time.”

“You wanted to kill me.”

“You’re a vampire.”

“Do you really love me?”

“Of course I do!”

“But you want to kill me.”

“Once.” He looked at her, and the seriousness in his eyes kept her pinned to the couch. “When we just started working together. Before…”

She was quiet.

“What gave you the idea?”

She looked away, and he scowled. “I was honest with you. You should give me this much.”

“I…” She bit her lip, and he could see blood well up from where her fangs pierced her skin. “Went to the dens.”

“…”

“I didn’t have the energy to go find food.”

“So you-“

“But Lau, he…”

“What.”

“He said that you might…”

He placed his hand over hers. He felt her flinch, but he didn’t move away. “You really trust him more than you trust me?”

She looked at William, confused, desperate, emotional. She was so hungry, so out of it, he had a feeling that no matter what he said she’d start crying on the spot. “I… I don’t know…. I-it’s all…”

He moved and hooked his arms under hers and pulled her close to his chest, squeezing her in a hug. “He’s just trying to get into your head, Grell. I’d never want to kill you. Not now.”

He could feel her dig her fingertips into his back desperately, the way she did when she was starved for touch and attention, and he tilted his head to the side when he felt her fangs dig into his shoulder. 

He ran his hand down her hair, nuzzling his nose in the red mass. “I don’t want you going back to the dens,” he murmured as she drank, and he felt her nod ever so slightly, just enough to let him know she heard.

After all…

He couldn’t have them taking away his one good weapon against Sebastian Michaelis.


	3. Chapter 3

William stood over the vampire, poised with a stake in his non-dominant hand, holding the weapon just above the fiends chest. He had taken a bullet to his other arm (an annoying oversight, that they would have equipped the child with a gun), but he had practiced for this kind of situation, and had found it easy enough to corner the vampire after that. 

 

“You must have known this day would come,” William offered matter of factly, lifting his hand slightly, readying to bring down the stake with some extra force. In his peripherals, he could see Grell holding the child back. Just a moment earlier, he had heard the clink of metal upon tile, signaling that the young earl had been disarmed. 

 

Sebastian shifted on the floor, and William gave him just a moment to respond. The vampire was bleeding heavily, though all the injuries would do was slow him down and cause pain, up until the creature was either killed, kept from healing, or fed until he was back to full strength. 

 

“Well?” The hunter prompted, and the butler tilted his head back and fixed his unsettling red eyes on William. His expression was… perplexing, to say the least. 

 

“This is for your sister… Is it not?” Sebastian asked, and William shifted the position of his hand, and pushed the crow-like vampire down with the underside of his palm, still holding the stake close to him, pressed ever so lightly against the vampires coat. 

 

Sebastian coughed, the blood gurgling up from whatever damage the injury in his stomach had caused. From the side, there was some muffled yelling from the earl. 

 

But Grell would deal with that, or she would wait for him and keep the child subdued. 

 

“It’s for Nora,” William annunciated, very slowly pressing the stake closer. 

 

“Of course…” The vampire paused, and the hunter thought for a moment that it was for dramatics, before there was more coughing, and more blood spilling from his mouth. “-Sickly little Nora… All alone without you with her.”

 

Some more noise from the rooms other occupants, and a sharp yet inaudible comment from Grell. 

 

“Fine. We’ll see how-”

 

“She asked me to kill her, you know,” Sebastian cut him off, speaking a bit too quickly for it to be anything other than panic bubbling in his undead heart. It was merely morbid curiosity that kept the butler from being killed then and there. 

 

“... Oh?”

 

“I… She had the upper hand for a moment. She dropped her weapons and chose…” Sebastian focused on him. “To leave you. Much like Mey-rin, if I understand correctly.”

 

Something like fury burned in William’s chest, surprisingly sharp against the calm curiosity, apathy, and occasional guilt that typically made up his emotions. “She did no such thing.”

 

“Ah. But she did…” Sebastian tilted his head, and blood began pooling out of the other side of his mouth as well. “I wonder why.”

 

“Stop playing your games,” William snapped, ignoring the pain shooting up his arm as he moved to press his bad hand against the vampires neck. It was a futile move, out of anger and fury, but it made him feel more in control for the moment being. “Once you’re dead this will all be over.”

 

“All of it?” The vampire asked, gazing at something to his side, and William foolishly didn’t take the time to decode what he was referring to. 

 

“All of it,” He agreed, and there was a small gasp and some murmuring off to the side. Could Grell  _ really _ not take care of the earl?

 

“And what of your pet vampire?” The butler inquired after some useless struggling. 

 

“What of her?” It was a useless question. 

 

“What will you do with her once this is all over?” A pause. “Leave her like you did Mey-Rin? Abandon-”

 

“-That’s irrelevant-”

 

“Will?” Grell asked suddenly, and William took just a moment to glance in her direction. She sat on the edge of the bed with the Phantomhive child pinned against her. “What  _ will _ you do?” She asked, sounding very unlike herself. 

 

Sounding just as she had a few weeks prior. 

 

“We will continue on as usual,” Of course?

 

“Another hunt?” Grell murmured, sounding tired. 

 

“Perhaps-” 

 

“Can’t we settle down?” She tried, not for the first time. 

 

Settling down hadn’t ever worked for him in the past. 

 

Sebastian laughed, and then choked, and William turned his attention back to the vampire. 

 

“You didn’t settle down with Mey-rin, did you?” He asked slowly, once he had calmed down, and William could feel Grell’s eyes boring into him. 

 

“Will?”

 

“We’ll-” William began, and stopped as he heard more murmuring. When he looked back up, Grell was in front of him, and in her hand sat one of the knives he’d given her. 

 

He opened his mouth to ask what she was doing, before it was promptly thrust through him, and then pulled back out, slick with his blood, and agonizing in every motion. 

 

There was nothing for a beat, before his entire body seemed to explode with pain, and his senses seemed to go dull. 

 

William slowly moved off of the vampire, accepting as Sebastian moved and took the knife from Grell, that he was not going to win here. 

 

He looked down, and blood the same color as Grell’s hair poured from his chest. Things in the corner of his vision were going dark.

 

Unlike Sebastian Michaelis, he wouldn’t survive this encounter. 

 

“Nora-” William tried, and then, “ _ Grell _ …”

 

But the hunter was fading fast, and as his partner moved in front of him, he slouched, curling in on himself. 

 

“... Did you love me-?” She asked, as if she didn’t know. 

 

He managed a nod, and slumped forward, against her. All he could think, in his last moments, was that he didn’t know either. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of the night, Ciel finds it hard to sleep.

The choice to keep William and Grell at the manor was not one Ciel supported, but Grell was too despondent to carry the bleeding William back into London proper, and Sebastian would need a pick me up before he could get either of them out of the manor. 

Mey-Rin refused to touch William, so Finny carried him into a room, while Mey-Rin fed Sebastian just enough to get the butler back on his own two feet. His wounds were by no means healed, but Bard could bandage them without having the gauze be soaked the moment it touched the vampire’s skin, so it was enough. 

After making sure his bedroom was clean, and that tea was brewing in the kitchen, Ciel found it hard to sleep, or even sit still, and found himself wandering the halls. He wandered past his room, past the various guest rooms, to the other side of the manor, past the servants quarters where Bard and Finny were talking in hushed voices about the events of the evening, and to the room William was sleeping in. 

He stopped outside the door, only then realizing where he was going and that he didn’t really have a reason to be there.

He turned to leave, but stopped when he heard voices inside. The only person he thought was in there was Grell, but that wasn’t Grell’s voice.

He moved and pressed his ear to the closed door.

“He wouldn’t leave me!” Grell cried.

“He left me, what’s to say he wouldn’t leave you too?” Mey-Rin retorted.

“But…”

“Face it, Grell. He never really proved to you he would stay with you, did he. “

“He’s still with me.”

“Did you do anything that would’ve had to make him stay?”

“I’m immortal! He can’t-“

“And he’s not. He can leave whenever he wants.”

“Oh yeah? And what he did to you, huh? You’re a mortal too! Maybe you caused him more pain than-“

“He left me with a child!” Mey-Rin suddenly shrieked.

Silence followed.

“He…”

“We were together for years.” The maid’s voice was thick with emotion. “But when he was presented with commitment, he turned and left.” There was a pause. “The only thing that hurt more than him walking out on me was having to get rid of the child.”

“Well,” Grell said, sounding breathless. “I can’t bear a child, so I suppose that puts me at a disadvantage now, doesn’t it?”

Ciel stepped back. He wasn’t meant to hear that conversation. 

He knew Grell wasn’t female. He’d felt it, when she was holding him away from William and Sebastian’s bleeding form. Her chest wasn’t shaped like a girl’s was.  He wasn’t sure what that was like, walking around like… that.

And yet, he’d seen with Madame Red the things that losing a child could do to someone. He’d never known this about Mey-Rin— the shy, clumsy maid serving half her time as a ruthless monster killer. A lover, a mother with a dead child wasn’t one of the things he associated with her. 

He heard a quiet moan, and the room fell quiet as he assumed William woke up. The silence stretched on for long enough Ciel thought the three of them fell into a hole to Hell, only for William to finally speak.

“Where…”

“We’re in the Phantomhive manor,” Grell said, curtly. Clearly, what Mey-Rin had said was getting to her. 

“… why?”

“I stabbed you.”

There was another pause.

“William,” Grell finally said, piercing the silence. “Do you love me?”

A pause. 

A pause that made Ciel’s heart hurt for the redheaded vampire. 

“That’s what I thought,” Mey-Rin seethed. “You don’t love anyone.”

“Except Nora,” Grell said, voice shaking. 

“My sister-“ William tried. He sounded desperate, like the adult man was on the verge of tears. 

“I don’t care.” Grell, too, sounded on the verge of tears. “You just kept me around to use me because I was effective against other vampires.”

William didn’t try to correct her.

“Just like you do with every girl you meet,” Mey-Rin added.

William didn’t try to correct her either. Ciel wondered if maybe it was because of the wound in his chest. They weren’t really giving him a chance to talk. 

Not that he deserved one. Ciel didn’t understand the pain they were going through, but he knew the anger.

He was so sick and tired of William going after Sebastian. The one thing Ciel was able to keep close to him had almost been torn from his grip too many times.

He turned to leave down the hallway, deciding this conversation wasn’t his to intervene on, only to run face first into Sebastian’s torso. He was caught partway to the floor, and Sebastian picked him up off the floor, holding Ciel to his chest. 

Ciel glanced up at him, wanting to protest yet not wanting to alert the people in the room that they were outside. Sebastian looked down at him, before hugging him, holding Ciel to his chest protectively.

Ciel blinked, the sudden sign of affection from the vampire being an almost foreign action. It wasn’t completely unknown to Ciel though, and he was glad to accept it, especially after he’d almost lost him that night.

Ciel wrapped his arms around Sebastian’s neck and buried his face in his chest, letting Sebastian turn and carry him back across the manor, away from the room that had been suspended in silence for much too long. 


	5. Chapter 5

William’s first memory had been him sitting on a porch, holding his baby sister to his chest and watching as his half-brothers and his father moved around the field outside of their house. It had been night, and Nora should have been asleep, but their mother had been ill a lot around that time, so the responsibility tended to fall to the boys. 

 

They were rigging up some traps. He couldn’t recall anything specific, but routine called for a snare or two out at the tree-line, a bear trap near the bait, and some bushes to hide in with the guns, along with whatever they had on hand to mask their scent. Anything else depended on what they were dealing with. 

 

He remembered hushing Nora and watching the tree’s just as he’d been told, but he hadn’t seen the creature until he was alerted by the shot of a gun, and the human-esc scream that matched Nora’s in pitch, and he finally saw the figure, hunched and furry with one leg twisted and trapped beneath it. 

 

The next thing William remembered, he was standing with his father in front of the werewolf. He must have handed Nora off sometime along the way, as a gun was placed carefully into his hands. 

 

His father had helped him point the gun, aiming at the terrified beast, and murmuring quietly to him that the logical solution to the world’s problems was to get rid of them.

 

William missed. 

 

_ He stepped into the room, stake in hand. _

 

His eldest brother, Eric, had snatched the gun after that, and the blood had already splattered his shirt by the time his father was pulling him away and dumping him on the ground. His brother had aimed and shot the writhing and whining creature without remorse. 

 

(He remembered asking his father why they had to kill the monsters. It wasn’t really a problem, was it? The werewolf had just just hungry, after all. 

 

William couldn’t remember what came after that). 

 

Later, William had been teased about messing up his first kill, and of screwing up while under his father’s attention. It wasn’t often than the old man helped out with something as simple as a werewolf. 

 

It was only mother who could stop his brothers. He thought she managed to keep them away for the next few weeks. Before they’d had to move. 

 

His mother had died, and another month later, they were a town over, in a new house, with a new mother. One who would coo over Nora with him, and bandage up his fingers when they would bleed from twisting rope into snares time and time again. He liked her, until she died another two years later. 

 

That was the first and last time his father’s apparent curse had ever phased William. In regards to his mothers, at least. 

 

_ The scent of blood was strong. Something had been in the room- _

 

The curse on women around his father hadn’t been passed on. It was one of the few things his brothers had mentioned to him that hadn’t related to hunting, some secret thing shared in whispers, that none of them had it. 

 

William tested it anyway, of course. It was only logical to make sure, though it was difficult, with how often they moved around. Eventually, he managed to hang around girls long enough to have no ill effects on them for months on end, so it had simply been something their father had done. 

 

By the time William had figured this out, Nora was old enough to display signs of the sickness. It wasn’t as fast as it was for the other women in his father’s life, who seemed incapable of caring for him and his hoard of children for more than a few months. 

 

Eventually, he thought his father would have caught on. Would have stopped dumping his problems onto the poor women he found in each hunting spot. But he didn’t. Perhaps he simply didn’t care. 

 

That would be a lot easier. 

 

Nora’s developing illness didn’t help matters, but Eric leaving to strike out on his own gave William some ideas. It was a logical solution, to simply remove his sister from the problem, so when he was 8 or so, he began pulling his little sister out of the house and tended to her himself. 

 

The sickness didn’t seem to progress as quickly, but it didn’t seem to slow either. Sometimes she would still take a turn for the worst, and she would become bedridden wherever he had managed to stash her. Sometimes, doing odd chores around the town, he could pay off a doctor on his own. And sometimes he would be forced to go back to his father and explain to the angered man about why he had thought it best to hide his youngest child, and only daughter.

 

_ -In the back room sat his sister. _

 

When William was older, and his sister didn’t seem to get any better no matter what they did (she suggested that they couldn’t ever get her far away enough, because she had somehow inherited the disease), he stated that they should leave. 

 

He couldn’t remember the exact age, but it was close to the age Eric had been at (He hadn’t heard from Eric in years. Father forbade any mention of him). So the next logical solution was to try and make the most of what time Nora had. 

 

Except… They had taken a detour to check on some vampire sightings. It wasn’t dangerous, per say. Not all vampires had the same goal, but perhaps William simply hadn’t been suspicious enough of this particular encounter.

 

He should have listened to his father. They were a problem. 

 

_ Nora lay in a pool of her own blood, head lolled and twisted at an odd angle. _

 

Years later, years of pursuing a vampire who seemed always out of reach, William met Mey-Rin. She was a fellow hunter and an excellent marksman. They had worked on the same case, as the hunting community really was quite small, and anybody in the area could become a potential partner. 

 

Except they took on the next job together as well. 

 

She seemed nice, in an intense sort of way. Mey-Rin was what he supposed would be called beautiful, and he enjoyed that she was good at what she did. 

 

After a few hunts with her, it was only logical to become partners in only one sense. 

 

_ William had found the vampire on the outskirts of town, waiting for him. _

 

The baby had been an accident. William had gotten drunk before, and nothing had ever come of it. 

 

Except he hadn’t had a partner then, and one night, after a rather time consuming job, it just seemed right to relax. 

 

William had been the first of them to wake up, cuddled up beside her (Closer than usual). Everything had felt too hot and where he touched her, it seemed to burn. When he sat up and realized what had happened, he quickly went to the bathroom and threw up everything he had in his stomach. 

 

It was just the alcohol. 

 

Probably. 

 

_ The vampire was just there to taunt him. _

 

Then, months later, when she spoke of the child, he felt panic claw at him. 

 

William still hadn’t found the vampire who killed his sister. He was losing time. 

 

(He was his father’s son. If the baby was a girl… Would she have been like Nora?)

 

There was nothing logical to do in the situation. Mey-Rin had been an excellent partner. But…

 

William thought of what his father would do, moving from place to place, from women to women. Perhaps even then, after all of his children had left him…

 

He was gone the next morning, leaving only a note, and nothing for the child. 

 

_ Nora was dead. _

 

Years later, William met Grell Sutcliff while on a hunt. In fact, Grell had been the hunt, but the vampire was far too inane to really be that harmful to the surrounding area. 

 

She was rather annoying though, and she followed him no matter where he went, only laughing in delight when he attempted to kill her. 

 

The dance of violence and stalemate had lasted nearly a month, before William was turning to speak with her before she even announced herself. He should have taken chances like that as opportunities to kill her. 

 

He didn’t. 

 

He thought that perhaps the way he was beginning to feel towards Grell, was how he should have felt towards Mey-Rin. 

 

They didn’t stop, but they did begin to fight less. Grell was very touchy-feely’ but he didn’t think it would be an issue, as long as he wasn’t ever too drunk around her. 

 

(Him, William had thought at first. It wasn’t until later that he realized part of his previous issue could be avoided there. 

 

Still, he couldn’t bring himself to do anything more than kiss or sleep in the same bed, and he found the prospect of her or him drunk at separate intervals terrifying). 

 

It was only logical to make Grell his partner. 

 

After all, Sebastian Michaelis was nearby. 

 

But… Stabbed in the chest, much like some beast his father had once had him dissect, he was once again left with nothing to go off of. 

 

He had never avenged Nora. (Did she even want that?)

 

He was dying. (Wasn’t he?)

 

_ His sister had been smiling, even in death.  _

 

When he woke up, surrounded by girls (He was sure that was a fantasy of someone, somewhere), all he felt was dread and uncertainty. 

 

He didn’t know who he loved, aside from his sister. But… the feeling was different. 

 

What he had with Grell was different from that. Was different from what he had had with Mey-Rin, which was much more professional and filled with mutual anger at whatever had happened to the two of them (They had never discussed it).

 

Grell was…

 

Maybe he loved her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mey-Rin remembers what she worked so hard to forget.

Mey-Rin wasn’t supposed to be in the room when William told Grell he loved her. It was just the way things happened.

She was still angry. Fuming. She’d lost a child, a chance at a life away from hunting, because of William’s uncertainty and refusal to settle down (she knew too well that that couldn’t be the whole of it, but William wouldn’t tell her anything, so it was all she had to go on). She wanted to make sure William knew, understood maybe, exactly what he’d done to her.

But she had to take pause, when she watched how ginger and careful he was with the unstable vampire. It could’ve partially been because of the wound in his chest, but the way he ran his fingers along hers and spoke in a quiet voice filled with emotion…

He loved her. Maybe he didn’t quite know it, but to Mey-Rin, it wasn’t hard to tell.

She hovered in the doorway on her way out, watching them and letting anger and jealousy flare in her chest. It was the kind that made her want to scream and punch a hole in the wall, but she’d learned over time to suppress it and pretend it wasn’t there. She wouldn’t have been allowed to work in the Phantomhive Manor this long if she hadn’t.

She turned and left before he heard him speak those words- those cursed, awful words she couldn’t stand to hear anymore- and practically fled down the hallway, back to the safety of her room. The only place that felt sacred anymore.

She sat on her bed and pulled her glasses out of her apron pocket. She was exhausted, much too tired to pretend, but holding them brought some comfort, reminding her that William wasn’t everything.

She didn’t know how long she was sitting there, but she was pulled out of her thoughts (they weren’t really thoughts. Her mind had gone numb and despondent and she’d been staring at nothing for an undetermined amount of time) when she felt a hand on her shoulder. 

She looked up, and saw Finny looking down at her worriedly.

“You’re crying,” he said in a hushed voice laced with concern.

Was she? She reached up to press her fingers to her cheeks, and pulled them away to look at the wetness that was left on her skin.

A sob bubbled up from the depths of her chest and in an instant Bard was at her other side, reaching up to take hold of her shaking hand.

“What’s wrong?” Finny urged, sitting down on the bed next to her.

She sobbed and clutched Bard’s hand, emotion overwhelming her. “It’s…” She tried, but the words died in her throat before she could get them out. 

 

_ She remembered it like it was yesterday, _

 

Bard urged her to take her time, to not stress herself out over something that was too trivial, and it eased her breathing slightly. 

 

_ There was nothing that could match the pain. _

 

“Is it William?” Finny asked, to which Mey-Rin responded with a nod.

“... it’s a long story,” she managed to get out breathlessly. 

“We have time,” Bard said, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. 

 

_ It was dark by the time she got home. William had urged her to go to the local doctor when she’d spent three mornings in a row being sick over the toilet. It had taken a large amount of coercing, as Mey-Rin wasn’t one to try and hinder a hunt, but eventually she’d given in and gone. _

_ There was a flutter in her heart and a bounce in her step as she slipped into the small motel room they were sharing while they were in this part of London. William was packing up the last of his weapons into the bags for safekeeping that night, and looked up when the door clicked shut. _

_ “You’re back,” he said. Mey-Rin had come to hear relief in his voice, but in reality she knew it was probably said as emotionlessly as everything else.  _

_ “I have news,” she said with a casual smile. “I think you’ll like to hear.” _

_ “Oh?” He let her take his hand and hold it close to her chest while she smiled at him.  _

_ “I’m pregnant.” _

_ Looking back on it, she should’ve recognized the shock, and what almost might have been fear in William’s eyes, but she’d just brushed it off at the time, assumed it was fine, that he was okay with-- _

_ “That’s wonderful,” he said, forcing a small smile. It was strained, not at all genuine, and she took pause. _

_ “Is something wrong?” She asked, lowering her arms from where she was holding William’s hand to her. _

_ “No, Mey-Rin.” He reached up and pushed her hair behind her ear. “Just surprising, is all.” _

_ She stared at him. She should’ve questioned it more, poked and prodded until he gave the answer she knew he wanted so desperately to say, but she didn’t. She was happy with the response.  _

 

_ She knew something was wrong when she woke up the next morning. It wasn’t morning, really- the sun wasn’t up- but she had a habit of waking up when she knew something was off.  _

_ She sat up in the bed and looked over to see William gone. His side of the bed was empty, and growing cold, and she felt her heart drop.  _

_ She should’ve made him talk to her. _

_ Slowly she slid off the bed and walked around to his side of the room. His bags were gone from under the bed. All that was left was a note tucked under one corner of the pillow. _

_ She picked it up and unfolded it with shaking hands.  _

 

Mey-Rin,

I am afraid I cannot stay with you any longer. I know this was going well for you, but you know my loyalty to the job and to my sister. As much as I enjoyed my time with you, these duties stand above a family in my priorities. For you it may be different, but then I suppose it was never meant to be.

And about the child…

I’m sorry.

-William

 

_ She still remembered it like it’d happened yesterday.  _

 

Telling the story lifted a heavy weight from her chest, but it didn’t get the tears to stop. They rolled down her cheeks as she relayed the story as she knew it- or, really, as she was willing to tell it. There was more to it, but she couldn’t say it. 

Not outright.

“Mey-Rin…” Finny started, sounding hesitant, like he always seemed to when it came to…  _ human _ matters like this. “... what happened to the child?”

“I…” Her voice wavered. “I got rid of it.”

They were quiet, and another sob built up in her chest. 

“I couldn’t… it would’ve reminded me too much of… and he was right. H-hunting was always more important than… th-than…”

Bard pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight. It was the first time in… what might’ve been  _ years _ she felt safe in someone else’s arms. Safe enough to admit everything. Safe enough to crumble under the pressure.

Safe enough to cry. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guilt is an ugly monster Sebastian despises battling with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Violet wrote the flashback, Nyan wrote the rest.

Sebastian set the steaming kettle of brewing tea leaves on the tea cart, and turned the saucer of milk just enough to make it look more appealing than just a piece of dish on a cart, before moving and pushing the cart towards the study. Ciel hadn’t found sleep easy that night, so Sebastian wasn’t willing to try and get him to sleep. All he could really do to ease Ciel’s nerves was serve him tea and hope that he tired himself out. 

 

_ The vampire crept through each house, each day, each night. He stayed inside while the sun burned outside, or sometimes in the thickets on the outskirts of the village. Wherever nobody would think to look for the culprit of the crimes. Of the ladies and men with blood running down their necks, with just enough left in them to be revived, to the dead, with broken necks and bones, with pale faces and scattered weapons.  _

_ He was aware of the hunters. It payed to keep tabs on who was visiting the different inns around the vampires hunting spaces, and two young adults with wary faces and reserved mannerisms were prime examples of what he had to be aware of.  _

_ It didn’t take long from there for them to start seeking him out.  _

 

He slowed his pace when the memories started to come back. He’d gone so long since he’d thought back over this, but now… now with it facing him so forwardly he couldn’t help but think about it.

 

_ When the two of them turned up at the crime scenes, and at the surrounding buildings, the vampire simply took more precautions, and began staying further away from each kill.  _

_ Then after a week or so of this, the male began going to each site alone, and wandered into tavern to tavern, presumably looking for him.  _

_ They had changed motels but a few times, and it hadn’t taken the vampire long to track them down. He stayed a few buildings down from them after a rather filling meal, and crept up on the girl while she was alone, once the moon was high in the sky.  _

_ The window was locked, as he expected, meaning he had to enter through the door.  _

_ Instead, he watched, perched on the very edge of the windowsill.  _

_ The girl danced around inside, moving papers around and murmuring something he didn’t care to make out. Bags were carefully lined up around the room from what he could see, placed and seemingly still packed to the side of a cabinet. Further examination turned up stakes and a gun, tucked almost just out of sight behind some books, with more likely stuffed into each half open drawer.  _

_ He made to jump down, having learned what he needed, before the girl stopped short, doubling over and coughing. The noise was just audible through the window, and it took everything he had not to pry it open and kill her while she was so sickly pale, and so defenseless.  _

_ But it would be so much more fun to splay her and the male hunter out in their rooms, bleeding delightfully onto their pale skin and the floor.  _

_ Perhaps it would stain.  _

_ So he watched the female for just another moment, noting how she clutched the cabinet to keep herself up, and then composed herself.  _

_ The vampire jumped down, and hid for the day.  _

 

He knocked before letting himself into the study. Ciel looked up from the book he was glancing through with tired eyes, watching the tea closer than he watched Sebastian. He forced himself to keep his hands steady as he poured the tea and set it down in front of Ciel.

Sometimes, unless he was faced with it confrontationally, Sebastian forgot how similar she and Ciel were. Sickly. Weak. Unable to confront things until they were right in front of them. 

Like himself. 

_  
_ _The very next night, he found himself at the motel again, having gotten the clerks approval in the past, so it was simple to slip past this one, and go up to the room he had noted them being in._

_ The male was probably out again, at a scene, but the female...  _

_ He waited at the door for a while, watching it. After he judged an hour or so to have gone by, he carefully opened it. It was locked, but that didn’t matter much to him, and he stepped inside, ready for a meal.  _

_ The girl didn’t seem aware of him just yet, as he stepped inside. She was in the middle of a coughing fit, and he slowly shut the door again.  _

_ He took a step, and was met with surprise when she turned promptly, and shot him in the arm. Pain blossomed, and he found himself entranced.  _

_ She continued to point the gun at him, shaking just a bit, and coughing again.  _

_ “You expected me?” He couldn’t help but ask, as he took a step closer. She didn’t shoot again. Not yet, anyway.  _

_ “You aren’t William,” she murmured, quietly horrified.  _

_ The vampire couldn’t help but smirk as he advanced. “That’s your partner?” _

_ She drew back, up against the wall. He stepped over and shoved her hand with the gun back against the wall, tracing her neck with his hand delicately, even as she grimaced and bit down on a cry of pain.  _

_ For a hunter, she wasn’t very bright.  _

_ He thought, at least, up until she shakily pressed a stake to his chest, threatening to push it in.  _

_ The vampire looked down, blinking, and slowly stepped back and letting her hand go. “Yes?” _

_ She held it in front of her, holding the gun tightly in her other hand, and he wondered idly if she would be able to follow through.  _

_ “I...” her voice wavered. “My brother will kill you.” _

_ “And you won’t?” The vampire asked, amused. “He doesn’t seem to be around right now.”  _

_ She swallowed and watched him. They stood like that for several moments, before she coughed, curling in on herself a bit.  _

_ “... can I ask you a question?” She murmured, and he tilted his head slowly, curious.  _

_ “You may.”  _

_ “If you killed me... would you make it fast?” She asked, and he froze, momentarily shocked. “I’m... it’s a waste for me to die like this without... without helping anything.” _

 

When Sebastian didn’t immediately leave Ciel’s side, the child watched him, observing how Sebastian stared off at nothing with glazed eyes. Ciel recognized the gaze, but he wasn’t willing to try and break Sebastian’s reverie.

Sebastian stood stiff with his hands clenched tightly around the handle of the cart. He heard the question echo in his ears sometimes, when he was haunted by his loneliness, and it always made his gut twist and writhe with guilt until he was too sick to move.

_  
_ _“You’re a hunter,” the vampire stated, and she shook her head, and lowered the gun._

_ “William is.” She stated, and dropped her weapons as he stepped to her. “I don’t want to be sick anymore.” _

_ “... as you wish,” he murmured, smoothing her hair back, and taking careful hold of her head and shoulder. “What’s your name?” _

_ “Nora,” She stated softly, and smiled at him as he snapped her neck- _

 

He flinched. Ciel noticed.

 

_ -and then drank greedily from the exposed skin.  _

_ What a find.  _

_ Later, he would wait and watch the hunter, offering some words of advice (don’t leave them so alone, next time), and then fine a new town.  _

 

“Sebastian,” Ciel finally spoke, and the vampire blinked, before looking at the Earl. 

He didn’t know how long he’d been lost in his mind, but he felt sick again. It had been months since that memory had come to run circles in his head, but every time it did, the ailments got worse.

There were so many other options. He hadn’t had to kill her. He could’ve turned her. These thoughts… he could remember going through them at the time, and he’d assumed William would have killed her.

But now, watching William’s undying loyalty to the memory of his sister- loyalty that pushed him so far as to leave a woman unequipped to be a mother with a child, and team up with a vampire in her wake- he wondered if maybe,  _ maybe _ , turning her would’ve been the better option.

“Forgive me, my lord,” Sebastian finally spoke, voice low to try and keep it from breaking under the weight of the emotion on his mind. 

“You seem to be distracted,” Ciel said, lips just barely brushing the lip of his cup as he spoke. “Are you alright?”

“Mmm.” Sebastian looked down, and slowly unclenched his gloved hands from around the handle of the cart. “Just distracted.”

“I see.” Ciel sipped his tea for a moment, before setting it down. “You’re dismissed.”

“... pardon?”

“I said.” Ciel looked at him seriously. “You’re dismissed.”

The phrase ‘to recuperate’ was left unspoken, but hung in the air so close to Sebastian’s face that it didn’t even have to be said for him to understand.

He bowed slightly. “Thank you, my lord.”

He left. He didn’t know where to go, but being away from the sickly child that reminded him too much of Nora, and running from the hunter that wanted so desperately to kill Sebastian for a decision that  _ wasn’t even’ his own _ …

It was just enough to keep him from hiding and curling around his guilt ridden stomach in shame. 


End file.
